mistakes happen

(via)

I was reminded this weekend how much it sucks to make mistakes. For once, I was not the one making the mistakes, just witnessing them from afar. Though it should be noted that I've made plenty in my short lifetime, and I'm sure there will be plenty more.

The thing about life is that it's basically unheard of to get through it (let alone college) unscathed. In fact, I'd go so far as to say it's even sort of boring to be safe and not do anything wrong. At least, we could never be friends because part of being friends is swapping stories and if you don't have any to share you'll just make me look bad. And we can't have that.

I've woken up plenty of mornings and groaned, whhhyyyyy? Why did I do this, why did I say that, why, why, why. That's the worst. But then you get out of bed, brush your teeth, and move on with your day. Say some apologies if need be. Sure, it sucks to have done it, but you can move on. We all can.

In the moment, it's hard to see that. It's hard to get over the embarrassment of having done something wrong, having other people witness that, and having to apologize for your own behavior. And for me, it's hard to witness someone I care about realize this.

Alas, we all must do something wrong from time to time. I think that's when we grow the most. It's the times when we're down and out that really force us to take inventory of our lives and make some changes, hopefully for the better.

So basically what I'm saying is this: Mistakes happen. They suck. But you don't. We're all human. Next time, take a page from Ms. Taylor's book and just pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick and pull yourself together.

Hope your weekend was full of mistakes and learning curves ;)

xoxo

Passion Play

I've always envied those people who KNOW what their passion is. I have a friend who is a DJ. He loves what he does. He is great at it. He used to pretend to DJ when he was a kid. He just knew.

Those people who know from the get-go what they want to be when they grow up and then still actually want to be that amaze me. When I was little I wanted to be a marine biologist. In high school, I thought I wanted to be an English teacher. Then I switched it to journalist because it sounded more exciting. (And, as a journalist I figured I'd get to "live in the shoes" of another person constantly, and maybe that is how I would find out what I loved to do.) In college, I stuck with the journalism thing. I was pretty good at it, and as a straight-laced geek at that age I didn't dare change my major and get behind.

Now as a 20-something I still have an "I want to be..." list that is forever changing. I still want to do journalism. I want to win a Pulitzer and write something that changes society's view on an important issue. I want to expose a problem or bring light to a situation that needs the attention of people. I also want to own a small business, be a mother, start an animal shelter, write a book, invent something, be a counselor and an art teacher. Or maybe second grade teacher. I have a lot of careers on my to-do list and I better get cracking.

Today though, these last few weeks in fact, I've gotten to dive back into something I once really loved. Something that I never wished to make any money off of. Something I liked to do just for the sake of doing it. Something that although not necessarily my passion, felt pretty dang close. IF I can guess what living one's passion feels like.

That, my bloggies, is photography. Now, I know, I know, everyone nowadays is a photographer. But I do get to mention the following street cred: high school photography and a photography course in college (which I got an A in, duh). Okay, that makes me pretty low on the totem poll. But, I do know how to shoot in manual and I feel I can frame a picture pretty well. I also don't always give a crap about the rules, which I think helps when it comes to being behind the lens. I also get to put my creative ideas into action and not hope that the photographer I'm trying to explain my vision too can one, understand what the hell I am talking about, and two, do it the way I would do it. (Control freak, anyone?)

So the point of this post is mainly to ramble and come true on my promise to blog every day (Hey, it's 11:20 people, it is still Monday.) But to also encourage the readers of Smith & Emma to always keep trying to figure out your passion and find things you love. To have an "I want to be..." list that still exists at 70.

I've settled on the fact that my passion may just be trying to find it. It means my tombstone will get to say something like "Mediocre at a lot of things." Which is fine by me. To me, it means I lived a life worth living. Who says you have to be the best at something? What does that even mean anyway...

Here are some shots I have taken for Maude Boutique...All unedited....so you can really judge me. ;)