wink wink

rule:

if you are are of the male sex and ever want a chance at dating me--you'll never use an emoticon in any context or conversation directed at me.

last week, a group of my lady friends and i were out for a glass {or 2} of wine at a local bar when out of nowhere a very nice looking man approached our table. he whipped out a card, handed it to my friend and introduced himself. she had caught his eye {no surprise there} and he wanted to give her his number. major points in my book for a) being forward and b) being ballsy enough to approach a table of girls. after the exchange, he left and she texted him--to give him her number and let him make the next move.

not five minutes later did her phone chime, an eager response time, with a message and uh oh.... a smiley face. a little weird, yes, but we'll let it slide. but no, he didn't stop there. instead of using actual question marks in his next text, he used two animated question marks (from the emoji app if you have an iphone, i believe). let's just say he was going way over the fine line and into down right disturbing real quick. it was like a 12-year-old boy had hijacked his phone and decided to text his crush for the first time.

while half of the table wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, i was ready to write him off right then and there. i've made a pretty solid rule about refusing to date grown men who use emoticons. strict? yes. but i can't deny that men who use smiley faces or any type of emoticon in any context give me the heebs. not cute y'all. not cute at all.

i'd be willing to let the occasional :) pass. but as i told my girlfriends, when the faces start to become more complex and involve things like eyebrows, noses and winks {let alone question marks--who does that?!}.... i might as well delete your number right then and there because it just ain't happening. text me in 10 years and maybe i'll give you a chance. ;) ;)

what do you think? am i crazy for being too judge-y about text etiquette? sound-off!

ps. less than a week later, my girlfriend sent me a screenshot of a text he had sent her where he had legitimately used an emoticon of a bow and arrow to signify going hunting. needless to say, she called him out for his over the top usage and i don't think we'll be seeing much of him in the future. let this be a lesson boys! do not abuse your right to emote. also: if you went hunting... just say so.