Thursday, January 17, 2013

the horizon is at my fingertips

I wrote this just a few days before my twenty-fourth birthday, way back in June. So much has changed in seven months. I'll catch you up on the rest, but wanted to share this first... 
the horizon folly beach, south carolina december 2012
Twenty-three has been hard. I think harder for me to admit because I’m not one to concede to difficulty. Even now that twenty-four is on the horizon it’s easy to say it must not have been too bad because I survived. 
But that’s the thing. I feel harder and tougher around the edges because of it. Twenty-three was for toughening up. For lessons learned about myself that I thought I already knew but am actually experiencing which is proving to be interesting. 
For still working on weeding out the bad from the good—times, friends, judgement. You know. 
I still feel young. Like not as much of an adult as I guess I am. Like my parents are still my parents and I guess that’s not ever going to change even though I sort of expected it to. 
Like even though I do adult things such as pay bills and have a career. Somehow it still feels slightly make believe. 
Maybe it’s not about age at all. I mean I know this. But I think I’m starting to realize it’s more about experiences and knowing yourself. I’ve always thought I would immediately feel older once I saw the candles on the cake on June 17. 
Twenty-three may have been rough and terrible at times. But like I said, I’ve almost made it out and I feel better for it. I feel more confident in who I am. I feel happy mostly and sad when I need to be. But most of all. I feel hopeful. Like twenty-four is going to be great and exciting things are happening. Like I’m coming out of the fog and the horizon is at my fingertips. 

1 comment:

  1. Oh sweet friend, I'm sorry 23 was so hard. We've all had hard years, but they make the wonderful ones that much more special.

    Wishing you a fabulous 24!