Wednesday, October 5, 2011

getting some air


It all started on Monday afternoon. And spiraled out of control very quickly. My semi-mental breakdown, that is.

I was having dinner with a girlfriend after work. We, as usual, were discussing in detail our love lives as of late. Nothing interesting on my end, but stories galore from her. Typical conversations between two friends over drinks and a meal.

It had already been a weird day involving seeing an old friend, which was unexpected but great. Random texts from another friend, discussing how it felt like there was a full moon because of all the strangeness of the day {not a full moon though alas}. And then… after dinner I go home only to get a text from my ex. Not necessarily too out of the blue, but will I ever get over the jolt I feel when his name appears on the screen?

Later on that night I decided to read my horoscope, as I do at the beginning of most months, out of curiosity. There, on my computer screen, Susan Miller, my go-to astrological guide, was telling me I was going to be single until October 2012. Cue mental breakdown. She explained a lot of stuff that went over my head but what I could gather was that Saturn {that bitch} has been clouding my love life since October 2009. Which happens to also be {roughly} the same time the ex from above and I broke up. Also to note: my last significant relationship.

Too many coincidences.
Too much thought.
And there was nothing I could do about any of it.
Or so it seemed.

Frantic text messages were sent to family and friends. Willing them to tell me there was no way my horoscope could be true. Each throwing me a lifeline and rightfully telling me I was crazy.

Two hours later I go to bed.
Eight hours later I wake up.

I’m not that girl. Not the girl who lets her horoscope of all things freak her out. Not the girl who worries about being single for another day, month or year. Not the girl who lets silly things get in the way of her happiness. {Totally the girl who sends out frantic text messages to the ones I love most though.}

So it was decided—I would do something about it. The challenge was born. We could both {and probably many of you} use some happy. As simple as that.

Day two and I think this is just what I needed. A new frame of mind. A new goal. A new outlook.

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