finding your fairytale

As a blogging practice, I do try to keep from spilling my guts about current relationships--whether that be with my boyfriend, a friend or my parents. However, in light of Valentine's Day, I'm going to dish--a little--about the romantic love in my life...for one reason mainly...our tale is certainly not out of a storybook.

My boyfriend and I met when he was on the verge of divorce and I was on the end of a much-too-long yet much-needed healing process to get over my ex. Put plainly, we were two people dealing with a lot of shit. We both went into the date, I think, for the same reason...to start moving forward from our pasts.

I call our first date my first "true date" in life. He asked me out. In person. He picked me up, came to my door and rang the doorbell. He opened my car door. He picked the place.

What happened next over appetizers and drinks was another date "first" for me. He asked me questions. About myself. A ton of them. He actually wanted to know who I was.

We ended the night on my porch with a hug and I agreed to see him again soon.

My point in telling you all of this wasn't a romantic, magical evening. We didn't talk all night long and I didn't lift my leg when he kissed me. He didn't even kiss me! But what was there was a high level of respect. He wasn't in it for a piece of ass. He wasn't in it to get a girlfriend. He was simply in it to get to know the girl he saw across the hall every day. For me, this did sweep me off my feet. It was something real.

We have dealt with a myriad of challenges since that first date. But what has remained true, and I think, has kept us together through the hardships we've faced is that same respect our relationship was founded on. We're in it for the other person. For no other reason than the fact we want to share our lives with one another. It helps, too, that the other small signs of respect, i.e. opening my door, hasn't stopped nineteen months later. Either have our pleases and thank you's, or our ability to think of one another (Today, for example, he called and asked if he could take me to class because it was cold outside. He's a prince, I tell ya).

My piece of advice on love is to find someone that is magical...to you. Not according to the rom com you watched or compared to your friend's beau. For me, the fact he walks on the outside of the sidewalk closest to the road is worth way more than a piece of jewelry. But that is just me! Find a person that suits you and that you suit. Find the guy with the right intentions. Who does his best to make you happy. And do your best to do the same for him. Because that, my dear lady-friends, is love.