As a graduate student in counseling, one of my main jobs, homework, or whatever you want to call it is to know who the hell I am.
Knowing how you are, who you are and what you believe are essential to being a good counselor. Why? So you can separate yourself from you client and make sure your values, and your beliefs aren't being forced on another.
As I started to think about who I am, my neurosis kicked in and I started second guessing everything. Do I really think that? Do I really believe that? Is it really part of who I am?
So, I am starting small and building my way to certainty. Here are five things in life that I really believe beyond a shadow of a doubt.
1. Write thank you notes. For a lunch. Because someone did you a favor. For no reason at all. Buy plain, white thank you notes (this is another story, for another post) and give handwritten thanks.
2. Tip well. I may be biased because I have spent years in the bar/restaurant industry scathing over bad tippers, but the bottom line is this...these people get paid $3 an hour to wait on you hand and foot, with a smile. They really do want you to enjoy your food, your drink and your experience. They are trying. So show them you appreciate it. And yes, I believe, 20% is always the rule. Even when they suck. Chances are they know they sucked, probably because people have been stiffing them all day, and a good tip may just turn their attitude--and their day--around.
3. One of the keys to a happy relationship is...saying thank you. Yes, it's true. I have learned this from my boyfriend. He says thank you for everything. Because I washed the dishes. Or because I listened to him vent about a bad day. Or because I told him he looked handsome. And now I do it too. Those two little words go a long way. It's nice to feel appreciated.
4. Go to Paris. Remember when LC didn't go to Paris because her loser boyfriend (was it Jason?) asked her to live with him for the summer? Here's the deal...the good guy, the nice guy, the one who's worth a damn...will tell you to go to Paris!
5. Forgive. Always forgive those who have wronged you. Take all the time you need to plot the revenge you will never take, be pissed off, or sad, but at some point, when it's right for you, make peace with it and let it go. Harboring hate or resentment really only hurts you.
That's all for now. Maybe next week I will be sure about five more. What things about life do you know for sure?